A need in change - Excitement

a need in change on most things, what does this mean? it means i need something to excite me!
i want so many things to change, but at the moment, the thing that i want to change first, is how
everything is repeated every single day. i need something new every day! or at least once a week.

wouldn't everyone want that. too bad, is that i want it now. i sound very demanding right now,
maybe its cause i need something, something to show on who i am, something besides music. something
besides that people wouldn't expect me to do, but i can do it.

oh wells i guess, i just hope my excitement will hit me soon, but i have been going out more lately, kinda
working, but its pretty much reliving last year, not with the same people, but with new friends.

--dopey.candy-- 

no fun&games, no excitements&suprises, no laughter&jokes.

whats wrong with me these days! i can't seem to have anything i use to have before, i can't seem to
do anything right these days!. all i seem to be doing is acting everything.. and it is not pleasant.. it is not fun ..
it sucks like shit.

acting, my god, where do i begin. not being true to myself? how shit can that be, it seems like
I'm living another person's life and i ain't the type to be living another persons life. i mean how low can that get.
but too bad, its the only way to cover up everything else. i mean, i act all surprised to everyone, show then how " excited " i am for things I'm not even surprised about.  its like
DA FUCK 

but oh wells i guess, as long as i make other people laugh with my stupid lame ass jokes, my dopiness, my stupidity, I'm fine with everything else. well not really but chyeah, i am pio, i only care if other people are happy, not myself, but i guess that's how i am, that's how my personality is, that's how i was born, that's how my parents raised me, that's how i am gonna be forever. a caring fuck who doesn't really care about his happiness, just the people he cares about and who is simply around him... well depends who it is. 

I'm doing more bad stuff than ever before, what do i do!, how do i stop myself from doing all this!
why am i even doing it, am i only doing it to remove every single stress, every single problem i have
in my life at the moment, i know i sound like some emotional fuck but chyeah
im just saying what i feel right now, and what i want =[.

all i simply want is, everything to be back the way it was, when everything was so perfect, like
when i arrived in my new school, like that type of perfect!, too bad i still wanna be an outcast.
someone that no one knows, someone where no one will feel sympathy or empathy when something
happens towards me, so that i know i don't need to care for someone, when they are feeling sorry for me
welps im offs

--dopey.candy--

Whats best.. Us being Together or Your Happiness..

well I was talking to my ex last night, well "just became" ex but chyeah
having a really serious conversation. seeing as her life is filled with stress at the moment.
too many thing's in her mind but chyeah.

so as we talked, she then asked me
"hey pio, tell me, what do you care about more
Us being together, Or my happiness.."

i would say that is the most toughest question i've ever been given. its a question
that takes days to think about. too bad she needed the answer by then.
as we continued talking, she told me more stuff, and where all the stress is coming from.
i understood completely but i still couldn't answer the question.

i want to be with her, but at the same i want what's best for her, i want her to be happy.
as happy as she was before we got together, and the start of being together.
i know we've only been together for only quite some time now, but it feels like i've known her
for over a year now. it feels like we know each other from the back of our heads.

as we continued to talk, we both came to a conclusion. she decided that she only wanted to be friends, and to be single for now, seeing as she couldn't take the stress. the stress of thinking
about where everything it is coming from. i supported her decision and decided to go with
what is not best for me, but on what's best for her cause its what she wants, and im going with it. but i know one day, we will get back together, as we both agreed. but it wont be till later.

i know i will be heartbroken for now, i know i will be feeling sad, everything will go insane
for now, but im sure i can control it. i will do my best. besides, i am only pio.

listening to this song "Ne-Yo - Never Knew I Needed"
just thinking about the first 5 lines

for the way you changed my plans
for being the perfect distraction
for the way you took the idea that i have
of everything that i wanted to have
and made me see there was something missing

but i am glad we we're together tram, seeing as we've only been together for 1 month and 16 days, i've learned so much from that, and it felt like we've been together for like a year.
and dont worry, ill have your back, and you'll have mine.

and as you put my red/black jacket, hope it reminds you of us at disco night.
as we stay as friends, i just hope the items i have given you, remind you of me on our time together.

When you are ready, i will be here, release all your stress out, solve them, finish them, do what you need to do, cause ill always have all the time in the world for you.

x3 thaaankyou.for.everything.
--Dopey-Candy--

For Old Times.Sake.

well old times sake aye
cameee across my favorite song, and it is my ex and I's song
listening to it brings back good old memories, and also bad memories
always told ourselves that we would get pass every single obstacle that
came towards, my god those we're missions, tough times, but also fun times at the same timee

Oh wells, i guess this song just brings back everything we were, and everything we had
and chyeah i know, im the one that fucked it all up, but i guess i was in THAT stage at the time
a stage i never wanna be in again but i guess i've changed.. in a good way :D, and yes
as we said to each other, we will be back together again, but i guess it wont be till later
but you never know, that might happen, that might not, cause i love the girl i am with now
and chyeah

I guess For Old Times Sake, this is a blog dedicated to our old times together
aye dont cha think little jess :) welps

byebyeee :)
post to ya later

TO JAMES

DONT EVEN DARE OR YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN

GEEGEE cunt,

byebye

PARTY ON!

William and Vinh's party!, simply awesome drinkup, did
so many crazy things, and so many funny things happend. One of the best highlights
was when David was off his nuts man!, my god that kid said
alot of funny things you wouldn't imagine him saying
Ahahhahahhaalol. but there was one time when he was playing
with a cat, and i think he tried to rape it or something

Ahahhahalols. yes, RAPE, LOL strange i know, but just saying the truth
on what happend, last night. He was a very aggressive drunk, but in a way on how he did
things were even funnier.

Any whooo, many more things happend that were funny, and so many of us
just got trashed.

At the moment, im still at my friends house, yes most of us slept over, and a few people are sleeping on the floor, 4 people in one bed, 2 in the other room, and 1 sleeping downstairs on the couch. I'm wide awake, since i slept for only an hour. I guess its all i need
Welps

ttyl readers!

Cause your worth fighting for

Listening to the song Worth Fighting For. It really makes me think and wonder
of what i should really do in the future, and what my future is going to be like.

Didn't really do much after an 18 month relationship, took me around thirteen months
to regain my strength. I have changed, as people say, but they say that I have changed in
a very good way, I don't know what or who has changed me but I know my one and only
girlfriend has changed me a lot in every way, and as i start to change to a better person
I start to think positive, open new gateways to other possibilities in which we do things.
I know i maybe dopey or stupid in many ways, and i tend to fail, but failure is the Road To Success

We might have been together for only a short period of time, but I have learned so much
from it.
Taking a lines from the song
"Cause cause I rather lose my life then lose your love
I rather go to war then give you up
Your worth fighting for your worth fighting for
And I really don't know the worse I am I rather take my chances swing
Your worth fighting"

Tram love, you truly are Worth fighting for

I ain't the brightest person you will find in the world, but I am one of the happiest person
that will care for you in every single way
I know that we may not be together forever, as bumps and obstacles occur but I know a
part of you will always remain in me

Byee readers